Jealousy & the Actor: Converting Envy into Action

Jun 21

You just heard from a friend that they got a recurring role on a new Netflix series. "Fantastic!" You say, but inside, you're dying. Why them? Why not me? Why didn't I even get an audition? Jealousy is a nasty little emotion but what can we do to stop it?

Let's delve into why we feel jealous. We tend to compare our journeys with others, especially other actors we see on social media. Remember, social media only shows the glamorous side, the roles they've secured, the auditions they've attended, and the fun they're having on set. They rarely showcase the near misses, the struggle or the waiting. This can lead to envy and frustration, especially when you question why you're not getting the same opportunities.

So, how do we handle this jealousy? Instead of urging you to suppress your jealousy, which isn't easy, I encourage you to put it in perspective. Understand that everyone has their unique journey. And the amount of work someone else has put into reaching their goals may not always be visible.

For example, if an actor is enjoying success due to an independent film they shot, don't wish to be in their shoes, instead identify the steps you can take to make it happen for yourself. Successful actors spend their free time networking with industry folks who can further their careers. Of course you'll get rejections, but you'll also get opportunities. Never overlook the power of taking action over wishing.

LinkedIn, for instance, is an excellent platform to connect with industry executives. Of course, you may face rejection, but consider it a numbers game. Success begins to happen when you have systems in place and you work them consistently. As my dad used to say, "If you chop wood, chips fly" — which I always took to mean that hard work pays off in the end.

Also, don't just rely on your agent to make take action on your behalf. Take the initiative to make connections yourself and make things happen. As actors, you need a platform to assert your values. It doesn't really matter what they are. Your cause could range from advocating for diversity, supporting LGBTQ+ rights, or even sharing your love for your pet. The key is to stand for something you believe in and let people know. This helps you to stand out and gives you a talking point when meeting new people.

Let's tackle jealousy again. When you see someone succeeding, instead of feeling envious, reverse engineer their journey. Identify the steps they might have taken and implement them yourself. Start reaching out. Produce a short film. Attend a film festival. And most importantly, get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Taking action gives you confidence. And the more you step out of your comfort zone, the more your boundaries will expand, which leads to personal growth and confidence.

Confidence comes from doing the work consistently. Researching projects, identifying people you'd like to work with, and reaching out to them. Today's digital world provides us a myriad of opportunities to connect with professionals we'd love to work with, which was unheard of two decades ago.

So, when jealousy strikes, breakdown your feelings. Ask yourself why you're jealous. Is it because of the other actor's success? Or is it because you wish to be as successful? If so, then convert your envy into action. Instead of complaining about your lack of opportunities, ask yourself what you can do to attain similar success. Use jealousy as a roadmap to navigate towards what you desire.

I'm going to wrap this up by saying, it's essential not to see yourself as a victim but a doer in control of your journey. Understand that you need to have a solid foundation, meet challenges head-on, and consistently work towards your goals. Only then can you truly be content with your career as an actor, leaving no room for the green-eyed monster.

And, if you’re a trained actor, serious about your career but struggling to get to the next level, then book an appointment with me. It’s free, and together we can figure out if you’re a good fit for my program, and if you’re not, we’ll figure out the next best steps for your journey together.

Until next time, you stay your bold and beautiful self.

Anne

BTW, if you’re ready to take action then watch this video on how to turn small actions into big wins.

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